Skinny doesn’t always = happy or healthy: the woes of the gym

The heat is still on here in a very very sunny Blessington, so again, it was off to the gym to do the run on the treadmill and shy away from the blistering sunshine. Not that it’s much better in the gym mind, but, it had to be done.

I again continued with the 4 song rule and got 9 minutes in the first two songs! I didn’t feel too bad except for dripping in sweat and dying of heat stroke! Ew.

I decided on an end treadmill, near the fans, and also near a group of about 5 girls on the cross trainers looking like they were expecting Hello magazine to come in any minute. Time to look at my arse kick it on the treadmill girls.

Also, to make matters worse, the husband went for a swim, I looked longingly at him in the cool cool pool. Relaxing and swimming, and floating, and being all neutral, temperature wise. Then, an all female aqua aerobics class started and I just laughed at him! Then I stopped laughing when I realised the instructor was directly in front of me and was face to face with me when she was showing them how to squat. *don’t look like you’re dying, don’t look like you’re dying, look like you do this everyday…oh wait I minute, I basically do, anyway just look cool, yes pout, that’ll do it, oh wait breathe, don’t forget to breathe, oh, she’s gone, yay. Oh, nope she’s facing me again*

Back to the actual running, I upped the speed a little, I seem to be more mentally prepared when I know it’s only a 5k run (and yes, I can not believe that I’m saying “it’s only 5k” either), and that I will have a jump off break every four songs to rehydrate, I have to do this, otherwise…I would die, and I really don’t wanna die, I’m only off for about 15 seconds, and it doesn’t count when you pause the run. That’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it!

Well, I only went and did it, didn’t I? I only went and got a personal best for my 5K!
photo (15)

I am thinking, in fact I am pretty damn certain that my run looked kinda like this and the girls behind me were an angry Bruce Banner like in their envy:


I am therefore, as of today, totally cool with the gym. No more avoiding it. So, to those who are concerned about going the gym…I always felt too fat, and I am still somewhat conscious of all the very fit people around. I would avoid the gym, I was convinced I’d be judged and laughed at. But, think of it this way, have you ever laughed at anyone working out, fat or thin? Probably not, and if you have, fuck you, you’re a bitch, you got your own damn issues right there.

Remember, (and being a therapist specialising in the treatment of eating disorders, I know this all too well) Skinny does not necessary mean healthy, or happy. I managed to get my overweight ass (albeit only 2lbs overweight…so damn close) to 5K in under 32 minutes yesterday, I am awesome.

I’ve never come across it were I have felt people are looking at me or judging me because I am at the gym. If people are looking at you scornfully, and with disgust because you’re working on getting your fat ass healthy, screw them, they don’t matter and always remember…



About leanne402

A girl who has been lumbered with a disability following a brain haemorrhage and who also has endometriosis. A mum struggling to come to terms with what physical and mental illness has taken from her. Blogging my journey through endless hospital appointments and coping mechanisms I'm using to try and manage chronic pain, fatigue and learning to live with my disability. Trying to learn that I am not defined or confined by my illnesses and disabilities.
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2 Responses to Skinny doesn’t always = happy or healthy: the woes of the gym

  1. leannenalani says:

    Great post. Love it! I used to go to the gym in college but am just too lazy to leave home. haha As for health not always equaling happy, you hit the nail on the head. I thought hitting my ultimate goal weight would make my life perfect, but I still struggle just as much as when I was losing weight. Well, probably because I keep yo-yoing bit by bit and having to lose again.

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