It’s nearly time….I may die

It’s 9 days and counting until my first Half Marathon. I have been on holidays for the last 2 weeks. This meant I was going to train hard. And train hard I have. If you count eating considerable amounts of junk food, drinking copious amounts of fruity flavoured beers and not running anywhere, then I aced it!

The Hot Run

Sunday 13th July

We planned our long run. 14K. Running belt on and loaded with coconut water. It was 75 degrees. The lessons we learned?

1) If the tarmac is melting – IT’S TOO DAMN HOT TO RUN!


2) Warm coconut water is not a pleasant rehydration experience.

3) Take some small change on a run, it’ll come in handy if you’re dying of dehydration.

We managed 7k, and we had no choice but to stop. Walked for about 20 minutes and then thought “lets try again”, only managed another 3k and by this time I wanted to die and we had run out of water. I also had a severe headache due to dehydration. Running was not a safe option!

So disappointed, dejected and anxious about my impending doom I did what anyone else planning a half marathon in a couple of weeks would do. I went on holiday, did no training and drank 🙂


This week I’ve tried to get back at it. It is still too hot outside, I am not used to high temperatures so I’ve been doing my running at the gym.

Tuesday – Hungover, struggled to get 3K done. UH OH. This aint gonna be a pretty run!

Wednesday – 10K I managed 5k in 31:08. Ok, I was on and off the thing like a whore with cystitis but I did it.

Thursday – Road run, too hot, yet again, 5k in 36:28.

Friday – Beer and Ben and Jerrys

Today – Hungover, Risotto and Chocolate

Tomorrow – 16k long run!!!

I also bought some energy gels and protein bars today, guess I’m getting serious, I need to do this long run tomorrow of I will have NO confidence for this half marathon.

I’ve also found that my thinking during the runs is more negative lately.

“I don’t care if I end up on the buggy pace bus”

“I can’t do this”

This along with my inevitable post holiday weight gain, the continuous e-mails from the Rock n Roll Dublin Half Marathon organisers reminding me of the strict pace/time limit and the severe depression associated with me going back to work on Tuesday hasn’t put me in a good frame of mind.

I need to make a conscious effort to change my thoughts:

“I can do this”

“I will do this”

“I will not end up on that bus”

If I am anxious about something, my reaction is to avoid dealing with it. I’m anxious about the run so I don’t train. If I train, I fear it will highlight, magnify and rationalise my anxieties. In reality, avoidance aint helping. If anything, it’s making me more anxious, so I just need to get out there and do it.

Tomorrow, new day, healthier diet and for the love of Bilbo NO MORE BOOZE!
I am also getting e-mails re the race countdown and asking if I’m starting to taper down my training….Um kinda haven’t got the thing started yet!

And re the weight gain. I was on holiday. Meh, I’ll loose it again and I enjoyed every bite and sup!


About leanne402

A girl who has been lumbered with a disability following a brain haemorrhage and who also has endometriosis. A mum struggling to come to terms with what physical and mental illness has taken from her. Blogging my journey through endless hospital appointments and coping mechanisms I'm using to try and manage chronic pain, fatigue and learning to live with my disability. Trying to learn that I am not defined or confined by my illnesses and disabilities.
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8 Responses to It’s nearly time….I may die

  1. John says:

    Next time its hot put some ice cubes in your water to keep the temperature a bit more bearable.

  2. Aw Leanne I am feeling your pain! I have been avoiding running too, I also find the more I think about it, the more I don’t do it…. The key (for me anyway) is to not really think about it.
    I had to run 7 miles yesterday but instead of setting that as my target, I set a time target of 1hour 15 mins. By that time I was at 6 miles and I found I had the motivation to to the last mile cause it just felt like a little bonus. Its all mind games.
    Have you got any running mantras? When I’m out I repeat ‘this pain will go away’ in my head over and over!

    My advice, for what its worth, would be to go out a run and don’t put pressure on yourself to go a distance. Do it for the fun (remember when running was fun?!) and after the first 30 mins you’ll forget why you were avoiding it. Run at night when its cool. I’ve been going out about 8.30pm and its light until 10pm so I can still fit in a nice long run.

    Sorry about this rant, I just feel you need someone’s support. I want you to complete this half marathon and be happy whilst you do it!

    Good luck

    • leanne402 says:

      Thank you! I’m having that mantra 🙂 I think I’ll try that tomorrow too. Aim to run for 1hr 50 mins and not worry if I have to walk a little or how far I’ll get. Doing nearly 2hrs should be enough to get me through the half right? And we’re gonna aim to get up early, when it’s not to hot and then I can savour the day and the achievement!
      I feel better about it already…and the husband agrees. Thanks for your advice, I really do appreciate it. X

  3. Pingback: Tis a Beautiful Day for a Run. Half Marathon Training: 8 Days to Go | leanneandthehalfmarathon

  4. Irene says:

    Well, I feel much better now, knowing I’m not the only one to not take this seriously! I too have the FEAR of that bus !!!

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